No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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