You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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