How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize