She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Randomize
