Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
