The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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