How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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