Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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