I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
so let's talk penis.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
