She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
