Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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