Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I want to fling myself into the sun
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
