so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
