I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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