You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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