I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
