This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
