Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
