....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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