I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
