So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize