4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
