There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
its liver damage thursday
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