I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
