Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
