you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
