I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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