I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
So much rum. So many feels.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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