don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
