summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
