Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
