"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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