You really coming over, don't trick.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
that is very illegal...i love you.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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