I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
