please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
