so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
