Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
there was a trapeze. enough said
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I want to be your penis for a week.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
