When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
