I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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