My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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