Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize