Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
