HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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