Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I need a burrito and a hug.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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