Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
