The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
FUCK WHALES
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
