I think I just saw someone hide a body.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize