also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize