My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
