ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
