Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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