Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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