they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
