oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
