I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
