hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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