Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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