So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
they need to just BURY HIM!
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
