I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
