Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
