At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
